In the workplace, we all run into conflict. Many of us would love to speak up and assert ourselves to correct it. And, in a perfect world, it would be easy. You could finally tell that colleague who keeps interrupting you exactly how you feel. You could give him a piece of your mind, releasing the frustration and anger that’s been gnawing at you for months. You could finally express that part of you that feels so underappreciated and marginalized.
A Simple Way to Be More Assertive (Without Being Pushy)
Speaking up in instances of conflict can be difficult, especially if you’re shy, lacking confidence, or come from a culture where it is inappropriate to speak up. But there is hope for the chronically unassertive among us. Simply use an “assertiveness formula.” There are three steps to an assertiveness formula. First, start with a short, simple, objective statement about the other person’s behavior — what you’d want to see changed. Second, describe the negative effect that this behavior has had on you. Third, end with a feelings statement. An example of a feelings statement might be “I feel marginalized.” Putting it all together, you have something like this: “When you continually interrupt me during meetings, I don’t get a chance to voice my opinion and I feel marginalized.” A well-crafted assertiveness message can be effective on the spot, but it can also be something you hone and craft in preparation for an upcoming conversation.